Monday, March 05, 2007

That Voodoo That You Do

Okay, listen, I’m sorry! I’m really, really sorry. I don’t know what it was that I did to you, but whatever it was, I take it back. I’ll make up for it however I can.

If you’re the person who put a curse on me, whoever you are, I’ll make it right. Just take the curse off, please.

I buy a house, renovate it, and it floods a month later before I can even move in, destroying all my books and most other possessions with it. That’s just bad luck, and I can accept it. Then getting screwed by FEMA and insurance companies and energy companies – well, that happened to everyone so nothing special there.

But then I finally move in, and they finally start knocking down the place next door. And the outer wall, the entire length of it, falls over onto my house, damaging the roof. Even I’m not that unlucky.

And then, when they get the wall off, they’re cleaning up with a big crane, and the guy swings the crane into my house, smashing the roof again. Come on! That’s not right, that’s not normal, that’s not within the realm of the statistically believable. That’s gotta be a curse.

Then the alternator on the car goes. Again. And even my bicycle is acting funny.

Plus, my cat’s kidneys failed and I had to hospitalize him. He’s out now, and acting like himself, after I spent a few weeks jabbing him with a needle to give him fluid. He’s on hormone shots, now. Nevertheless, whatever it was that I did to you, you who have cursed me, fine, what I get back I probably deserve, but going after my cat, too? That’s just plain mean.

So you win – whatever it was I did, I’m really, really sorry about it.

Meanwhile, does anybody know any good anti-curse voodoo?


GentillyGirl said...

I do very good house-cleansings and protections. It may not be Voudon, but it all works just the same.

Hit me with a message and we'll see what can be done. (If not me, maybe someone else that's good.)


Sophmom said...

I'm so sorry, Dale. That's just awful. Are you still in your house? Is the roof fixed? Are those evil demo contractors who messed you up going to pay (and pay and pay)? I certainly will send all possible positive energy your way (although my own energy seems like it might need a little work). Peace, darlin'.

Crazy Cat Lady . . . said...

Oh Dale ... I dug up an email I wrote to you saying "one person's drama is another person's trauma." Me? All drama. You ... get all the positive energy a Crazy Cat Lady has to give. Be well, sweetie.

Brooke said...

You should see a specialist in the Quarter. If you don't want to do that, try spitting at the four corners of your house (outside, of course) and then draw an X with the saliva. That's what my Granny does to get rid of bad luck when a black cat crosses her path.

Dale said...

Thanks for the advice and offers of help, everyone - I'll definitely be following up. And don't worry, the roof is fixed. The demo company was insured and I sicced Gav on them. He spouted off some regulations and specifications and, when they knew that he knew what he was talking about, they fixed everything up right. Once again, I can't recommend enough being friends with a contractor.

Sophmom said...

I'm thinking maybe a little holy water??? There ought to be some lying around at work. ;)

Sophmom said...

Dale, are you going to be in to be in town on March 31st? Looks like a geek function might be brewing. :D

Dale said...

Yeah, I'll be here. It's the start of spring break, but I don't have any plans. Keep me posted.

Sophmom said...

Geek Dinner III at Dangerblond's! I'm planning to come down and bring the young man home with me for his break. I hope you can make it. :D Details here:

LatinTeacher said...

Dale, hope the cat's kidney issue wasn't from tainted/rat poisoned cat food. Hope he/she is ok now.